There's only one truth I've ever heard about running. My friend, Jamie, told me it when I first decided to train for a half marathon. He said 'running will change your life'. I had no idea what he meant but I'm sure I responded with a smile and then my inner voice said some nasty things and I thought 'yea right'. A year and a half later I am here to say running has changed my life. I think that it's only fair to say that not all that change has been easy and, until about 2 months ago, it has felt a lot like work. Two months ago I made the decision that if I am going to sacrifice time away from family and friends to train, to workout, to skip out on alcohol centered events the night before a run (aka 6 nights a week), then I was going to love what I was doing. And now, I wake up and can't wait to go to the gym. Sometimes I don't run my fastest miles because I stop to sit on a bench to stare at the beauty of the Japanese Gardens. I have never felt such passion about something in my life before.
I started this as a way to prove to myself simply that I could. After I got engaged I decided I need to hit a goal weight so I looked amazing for the big day. I currently sit 18 pounds heavier than that number but I have given up the hope of thin for the desire of fit. Running has gone from a way to workout to reshaping my dreams. I've always been an East Coast girl, but I dream of being on the West Coast. I think of the trails I could run and the mountain climbing I could do. I've always wanted to stay home with my kids but thought it would be a small and simple life but now nothing more interests me than being able to stay home, have a modest farm, adventure and be active, and in some capacity use that love of nature, life and fitness to inspire others. [This blog and my Facebook are my outlets, for now, to attempt to inspire someone to be better than they were yesterday, in their health or otherwise.]
It honestly doesn't interest me to run a half-marathon, a marathon, a 50k peaks my interest but I have set my sights on ultra-marathons. Someone asked me recently why I would even want to run 50-miles? My answer was that I can so why not. It was a simplified way to say what I really meant. I don't want to be one of those people who sits around and watches safely from the sidelines. So many of us accept the easy way, the next logical step, and settle in. I will never know what I am capable of achieving as an individual if I don't go out and try to beat myself every single day. They say that ultra-marathoners have somewhat of an addictive personality. You may be a shopaholic, need your coffee in the morning, a workaholic or a partier--my drug of choice is pushing my body to it's limit. I haven't found that limit yet and I'm not willing to stop until I find it.
The second part of my answer goes deeper. I was born the type of person who was scared of everything. If you asked me what I'm scared of it would almost be comical the list that would be produced: driving, dogs, heights, deer while I'm walking, my own home some days, the dark, spiders, people's opinions, failure/trying, riding lawnmowers... the list goes on and on. For once in my life I am not afraid. For once in my life I am trying and sometimes failing daily. For once I know who I am and have a clear vision of who I want to be in five years. For once I am the only judge. For once I don't care if I'm in pain. For once I, the girl afraid of standing on a chair, can't wait to ice ax her way up a mountain. I have found a way to conquer my fears. I've found a place where it is me, the pavement, and a little prayer to God.
I'm not sure this is what Jamie meant when he said running would change my life.
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